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Trapped
Are we closed adoptees trapped from the day we are surrendered ? Lost to our mothers into the abyss of the adoption system ? Are we forever trapped as someone we are not supposed to be ? Forever trapped as someone else’s child ? Forever trapped in a family that is not ours ? Forever […]
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Benzo’s, Auto Immunity and Adoption Trauma
I have been attempting to wean myself off Benzodiazepines for probably coming up two years now. For me, so far, it has been extremely difficult to taper off Benzo’s. Extremely difficult. I would say the side effects of withdrawal for me have been hellish. I would never be able to hold down a job and […]
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Adoptee Identity
I was going to start this piece with the sentence “This is who I am if I should die ” and then write my “Name at Birth”, for all my following generations to be able to google. If the law will not allow me to use my identity now, reclaim it, then I will put […]
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Adoption Reunion
Something momentous happened to me when I was 3O years old. I met my mother for the first time. I am only realising now, in this very moment, how momentous that was. Can you imagine meeting your own mother for the first time when you are 3O years old ? How is one supposed to […]
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Freedom and coming home to myself
The weirdest feelings have been coming over me as I near my 6th decade on this earth. A strong feeling of freedom. I never realised I needed it. I never thought it was even an option. I never realised how the tangled web of closed adoption has ensnared me completely and had suffocated the life […]
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The sexually abused adoptee
I wonder, if, when my Mummy left me in the care of the hospital, and ultimately the social workers who worked for The Department of Social Welfare – Government run department, who had assured her, her baby would be going to only the best of homes, she would have ever have dreamed she was actually […]
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I have to believe
I have to believe my mummy saw me, held me, loved me and said goodbye. I have to. I can see her holding me, my tiny hand is wrapped around one of her fingers. She is gazing down at me, she thinks I am beautiful. My little shock of wavy black hair, my porcelain white […]
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Free at last
‘Free at last, Free at last, Thank God Almighty I am free at last ‘ Martin Luther King Jnr. It has taken a while, and I may not feel this good all the time, but thank God Almighty I am free at last. I have cut myself off from all but a handful of my […]
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Adoption 1960’s and 70’s
Newspapers Press 10 February 1979 Page 7: Article on Adoption “Jigsaw” – 1979 – – I was 14 years old – my adopters would have been reading these articles in the newspapers, they always read the newspapers. My female adopter, (I cannot remember my male adopter ever saying one word to me his whole life […]
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1977: attitude toward adoption …
Newspapers Press 3 December 1977 Page 10 : Elaborate rules for Adoption: “The report in The Press of the diminishing number of children available for adoption by STRANGERS, and the increasing number of adoptions of children by their mothers and step fathers ( step fathers? why step fathers? Is this assuming every woman who manages to […]
Adoption is No Fairytale
My life of closed adoption
Adoption is No Fairytale 